


Should've Asked Someone Else

by Gravytrain101



Series: Hogan's Heroes Oneshots [26]
Category: Hogan's Heroes (TV 1965)
Genre: Comforting Hogan, Good Intentions, Hurt Hogan, Painkillers, Scared Carter, Sleeping Hogan, Stitches, Worried Carter, haircut, worried team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:08:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28643460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravytrain101/pseuds/Gravytrain101
Summary: The guys have noticed Colonel Hogan’s hair has been bugging him throughout the day. He’s in desperate need of a haircut and Carter offers to give him one. Everything goes smoothly at the start of the haircut. Everything is fine until Carter sneezes. He sneezes and cuts Colonel Hogan just above his ear.
Relationships: Andrew Carter & Robert Hogan, Robert Hogan & James Kinchloe, Robert Hogan & Louis LeBeau, Robert Hogan & Peter Newkirk
Series: Hogan's Heroes Oneshots [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875991
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Should've Asked Someone Else

**Author's Note:**

> Please read and enjoy!

Carter’s POV:   
“Have you thought of a plan of how we’re going to get those 3 men out while Hochstetter’s here?” I asked as Colonel Hogan came out of his office, adjusting his collar to his jacket and shirt once again, “You are going to the party Hochstetter invited you to? Aren’t you?” 

“Plan on it Carter,” he sighed as he took off his cap and readjusted his hair, which was something he did multiple times today. 

“Everything alright sir?” Newkirk asked, noticing Colonel Hogan’s discomfort with his hair. 

“I’m fine. My hair is a little long, it’s bugging me,” he answered while he put his cap back on. 

“I can give you a haircut if you’d like Colonel Hogan?” I asked, trying to hide the eagerness from my voice in case he were to decline my offer. 

“I don’t know Carter,” Kinch sighed, “You’re pretty clumsy.” 

“Kinch is right,” Newkirk said, “He could slip and hurt either himself or Colonel Hogan.” 

“Now now,” Hogan started as he silenced us with our hands, “Carter.” 

“I can do a good job Colonel Hogan,” I interrupted. 

“Okay,” he said with a smile on his face while he walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder, “I trust you Carter. Let’s go.” 

“Really? Oh boy!” I exclaimed before I scrambled to get the supplies and meet Colonel Hogan in his room. 

“We’ll be in there too Colonel Hogan, just in case,” Newkirk said while he, LeBeau, and Colonel Hogan walked to Colonel Hogan’s room. 

“Just a trim okay? Nothing major,” he told me once he saw me enter his room and place the supplies on his table. 

“No mohawk sir? But that’s my speciality,” I whined as he sat in a stool, his back to me. 

“Carter,” he warned as he turned to look at me. 

“I’m kidding sir,” I said as I grabbed a towel and draped it over his shoulders, “Just a trim.” 

“Right, just a trim,” he said as he turned to face his window again, “Just in case, my blood type is on my dogtags.” 

“We won’t need that,” I told him before I grabbed the scissors and started the haircut that he allowed me to give him. 

“Be careful will you?” Newkirk exclaimed as he saw me get closer to Colonel Hogan’s left ear. 

“I’m being careful,” I snapped as I continued to cut Colonel Hogan’s hair, getting closer and closer to his left ear. 

“Guys,” Colonel Hogan warned, “Can you guys not fight when there are scissors so close to my head?” 

“Sorry sir,” Newkirk said. 

“Sorry Colonel Hogan,” I said before I continued with the haircut. 

“It’s alright,” he sighed, “You’re doing just fine Carter.” 

Newkirk’s POV:   
I silently watched as Carter got closer and closer to Colonel Hogan’s ear. I’m filled with agitation and anxiety as the blades of the scissors get closer while they work their way around the hair outlining Colonel Hogan’s ear. 

“Careful,” LeBeau whispered. 

“I’m being careful,” Carter said before he paused. 

Before I could ask him what was wrong, he turned his head and sneezed. It was something that came to him suddenly. He wasn’t able to pull away fast enough, clearing the scissors from Colonel Hogan. Even though it was an accident I still feared something like this was going to happen. 

“Uh oh,” he muttered as Colonel Hogan leaned forward and cupped his left ear while he gasped in pain. 

“What did you do?” I asked once I noticed the scissors were covered in blood. 

“I didn’t mean to do it! I swear!” he exclaimed as tears formed in his eyes. 

“LeBeau! Go get Wilson!” I yelled as I kneeled in front of Colonel Hogan and gently pulled his hand away from his ear, “I just need to see the damage here sir.” 

“Mmm,” he moaned as I pulled away his ear while LeBeau ran out of the room. 

“Will he be alright? I didn’t hurt him too bad did I?” Carter asked as he looked at the two of us, anxiously waiting for an answer. 

I pulled his hand away and held it in my own hand while I assessed the damage. There was a lot of blood coming out from above his left ear. The small space between his hair and the top of his ear that’s attached to his head was covered in a deep red color. I couldn’t tell just how bad the cut actually was because there was that much blood. It was dripping down the side of his head, over his ear, and onto his jacket. 

“Newkirk?” Carter asked again. 

“He’ll be fine Carter,” I answered as I gestured to the towel he had draped on Colonel Hogan’s shoulders with my other hand, “Grab that towel and shake it out.” 

“Shake it out?” he asked as he rushed to grab it from the floor before he shook it out. 

“It gets the hair off that you trimmed from before. Don’t want his hair getting in the cut, that wouldn’t be good. Hand it to me when you’re done,” I told him as I held out the hand that I used to point out the towel with, the one that wasn’t holding Colonel Hogan’s bloodied hand. 

“Here,” he said as he shoved the towel in my awaiting hand. 

“This might hurt a little sir but I need to put pressure on it,” I explained before I balled up the towel and pressed it against the left side of his head, making sure the majority of the pressure was on his left ear. 

“Ah!” he gasped as I applied the sudden, but needed, pressure to his new wound. 

“Sorry sir,” I said as I rubbed my hand up and down his arm while I held the towel in place with my right hand, “I need to apply pressure.” 

“I know,” he muttered. 

“I’m sorry Colonel Hogan! I’m really sorry!” Carter said as tears ran down his face, clearly affected by seeing his commanding officer in pain by something he did. 

“What’s going on in here!” Kinch yelled as he ran in, “One of the guys told me he heard yelling and then saw LeBeau run out of here.” 

“I didn’t mean to hurt him Kinch, you have to believe me!” Carter rushed to tell him while he cried. 

“I believe you Andrew. Just tell me what happened,” Kinch softly told him.

“I was just giving him a haircut because he said his hair was bugging him. I accidentally sneezed in the middle of it and cut the spot just above his ear,” he explained before he paused to take some deep breaths, “There is so much blood Kinch! I hurt him real bad but I didn’t mean to.” 

“I know Carter,” he responded before he looked around for the man we needed to get this under control, “Where is Wilson?” 

“Right here,” Wilson said as he walked into the room, “What do we have this time?” 

“Cut just above his ear,” I explained as I moved over a little so there was enough room for him to do his work, “There’s a lot of blood Wilson.” 

“Let me see,” he said as he pulled my hand away just enough to see the wound, “It’s gonna need stitches.” 

“Stitches?” Carter asked, “How many?” 

“10 stitches maybe 15,” he answered with a shrug, “Not many. It just seems like there’s a need for a lot of stitches because of the amount of blood.” 

“Good,” Kinch said. 

“Now, all I’m going to do is clean the wound and stitch it up. Easy to fix,” Wilson explained, “He will be sore for a few days but nothing a couple of painkillers won’t fix.” 

“Will his hearing be affected?” I asked. 

“No it won’t. He was cut above his ear but his ear wasn’t cut itself,” he answered. 

“Can I help?” Carter asked as he stood there with red tear filled eyes while he played with the cuff of his shirt. 

“He was the one that cut him,” I whispered to Wilson, wanting him to know but didn’t want to upset Carter even more. 

“Sure Carter you can help me,” Wilson told Carter before he gestured towards his bag, “I need you to bring that over to me and grab a few things.” 

Carter rushed to grab Wilson’s medical bag and sat down next to Wilson to help him stitch up Colonel Hogan. He was asked to grab some gauzes, stitching thread, and a needle. 

I pulled away the towel when instructed to do so so Wilson could wipe up the blood that stained the hair and skin around the wound. He then got the needle and thread ready before he got to work. 

“Ugh,” Colonel Hogan groaned as Wilson started his handy work. 

“I know it hurts but you know this needs to get done,” Wilson told him. 

“I know,” he sighed, letting Wilson continue with his task at hand and trying not to give anymore signs to us that he was in any form of discomfort. 

We sat next to Wilson, doing what he asked of us for the next 15 minutes. It didn’t take long for him to close the wound, it was much smaller than what he was used to stitching closed for us. We normally come to him with gaping holes in our sides from gunshot wounds and giant slash marks from knife wounds. I’m just glad we had something small like this instead a major problem like we normally have. 

“There,” Wilson sighed as he finished closing up the wound, “All done with that. Now this just needs some cleaning, I can give him some painkillers, and he can get a good, long rest.” 

“Does he need anything else?” Carter asked while Wilson cleaned up the mess he just made. 

“Why don’t you help get him to bed once I give him his painkillers?” Wilson asked. 

“Yeah,” he answered with a smile across his face before he moved to get Colonel Hogan’s bottom bunk ready for him. 

Wilson gave Colonel Hogan some painkillers before I helped him stand and take his jacket off. 

“Any more blood?” LeBeau asked as he poked his head into the room. 

“No, you’re good,” Kinch answered, “Carter’s just getting him ready to get some sleep.” 

“Is he going to be alright?” he asked as he watched Carter get Colonel Hogan settled into his bed. 

“He will be,” Wilson told him, as he stood and grabbed his things, “Just needs some sleep. Now everybody out so he can get it.” 

“Carter?” Colonel Hogan asked as we all walked towards the door but stopped as soon as we heard his voice from his bunk. 

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“Stay?” Colonel Hogan asked. 

“Of course,” he answered before he closed the door behind us so it was just the two of them. 

Carter’s POV:   
“Sir?” I asked as I sat on the edge of his bed. 

“This isn’t your fault,” he answered as he looked at me through his tired eyes. 

“Yes it is,” I interrupted as I looked at my hands, “I was the one that gave you a haircut. I was the one that cut you. I caused you pain Colonel Hogan, something I would never want to do again. I never wanted to do it in the first place!” 

“Is not your fault. It was an accident,” he sighed as he put his hand on my arm, “Nothing major either. All I need is some painkillers and a couple hours of sleep, I’ll be fine. Nothing I can’t handle.” 

“Shouldn’t be something you should have to handle though,” I told him before I looked him in the eye once again. 

“Well it just is something I’m going to handle. Look, you were giving me a haircut and you did cut me. Could’ve happened to anybody,” he started, “Why don’t you finish my haircut once I get up in a couple of hours?” 

“You want me to finish the haircut? What if I cut you again?” I asked, thinking he hit his head too. 

“Yes I want you to finish the haircut,” he answered, “You think I want to walk around with half of my hair trimmed?” 

“No, I wouldn’t want to walk around with half a haircut either,” I told him with a small smile on my face. 

“Glad we’re on the same page,” he sighed before he snuggled himself into his bed, “Now shoo so I can get some sleep. Don’t want to be half asleep when you finish my haircut.” 

“Wouldn’t want that sir, no,” I said as I stood and fixed the blankets, “Sleep tight.” 

“Mmhmm,” he moaned as I stood and made my way out of his room. I was preparing myself to finish his haircut, just praying I wasn’t going to mess this one up.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it and thank you for reading! Let me know what you think of it down below!


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